I need help on how to deal with a child that cries over everything…
Parenthood is one of the most crucial sectors of humanity yet one of the most little-known-about. Much as there is a lot of research around this area, there is not really a specific manual on the strict dos and don’ts on this topic.
Research on parenthood is mostly based on shared experiences and facts on human psychology along with environment on which individual children are brought up.
A child that cries over everything can be one of the most frustrating things to any parent and more so if the parent is a first-time parent. In this article, we’ll look at some of the ways to deal with a child that cries over everything.
Children who cry over every little thing are known as highly sensitive children. Every child really goes through a stage where they feel like their environment is too much for them and they react by throwing tantrums. This is okay because it’s a developing stage for them. Its in this stage that parents come in to help ease the burden and provide guidance through the ‘difficult times’
Parents to such kids can only deal with this by developing emotional regulation skills. This can be achieved through communication and being as honest as possible through it all. The following are some of the phrases to help you know how to deal with a child that cries over everything;
- I see you are upset
- I don’t understand crying or whining
- There’s a better way to say that
- That’s not a reason to cry it’s a reason to ask for help
- Would you like to talk about it
- Would you like a hug?
- What if we all did that?
10 Workable Tips on How to Deal With a Child that Cries Over Everything
1. I see you are upset
For a child however petty their dilemmas, they could be very frustrating to her. Acknowledge her feelings by agreeing with her eg I see you are upset because your doll is missing. This validates her feelings and she is able to find words to express herself instead of crying
After this, follow up with your expectations. ‘don’t throw away things, instead talk to me for help or walk away and calm down first’ This way you suggest solutions and give your expectations at the same time.
2. I don’t understand crying or whining
A child may have gotten used to cries and whining as a way of expressing themselves. You need to reset this by establishing new rules.
Don’t engage with her until she changes her behavior. Don’t pay any attention or provide a solution to the problem ie looking for the lost doll. The more attention they get during crying and whining, the more likely it is to continue with the behavior. Praise her for the times she communicates well to encourage her.
3. There’s a better way to say that
Communicate very gently and calmly that they can say exactly what they needs to say in a calmer way. Make it clear that you understand better things that are said calmly instead of when someone yells or cries
4. That’s not a reason to cry it’s a reason to ask for help
You want your child to understand that not everything is worth crying about. The best way to do that it to let them know that they can always reach out and ask for help, all this time still validating their emotions.
Children still need help communicating their thoughts. Even if you know what she’s thinking, help her communicate that. Always talk to the child when they are calm never when they are throwing tantrums.
5. Do you want to talk about it?
After validating your child’s feelings, you can offer to talk about it. Let the kid know that you are willing to help. Again don’t engage in any talks while she’s crying and whining. Talk only when she’s calm because that way she can understand better. You will also be driving your point of ‘I don’t understand when you talk like that.
6. Would you like a hug?
Just like adults, kids cannot process anything amidst a meltdown. Don’t try to teach anything or talk to her when she’s not in the right frame of mind. Instead, rely on non-verbal communication to understand them like a hug.
Sometimes all one really needs to calm down is a warm hug. That would mean, regardless of what you are going through, am still here. While still not willing to engage with them during the crying, a hug would mean you still care, help them calm down then communicate their problem.
7. What if we all did that?
Your child can stop and think about the situation. They can see how dramatic the situation really is and imagine you being that dramatic. They are able to put themselves in your shoes and imagine how chaotic it would be if you cried over everything like they do. This way they can stop and try to communicate their feelings instead of the drama.
Parenthood by itself can be really challenging. Parenting a child who cries over every little thing is enough to drive even the toughest people nuts. Not knowing how to deal with such a child can even lead to depression.
If yours is such a case there’s no need to panic. Your child is not abnormal and doesn’t have a problem. This is just normal depending on the different personalities we all have.
First thing you need is to understand your child. Understand their problem of the moment and try to teach them how to communicate the problem instead of rant.
In the beginning it can look difficult as they cry and you don’t want to give too much attention. You try to make them understand that you cannot help unless they communicate their problem and that they cannot communicate unless they calm down first.
With these easy steps, a child can easily learn that whenever they have a problem that they cannot solve by themselves, they must reach out for help. They get communication skills from this point. Gradually they also learn how to solve their own small issues without even asking for help. They become independent individuals even in adulthood.
Do you have other tips on how to deal with a child that cries over everything? Please share with us below.
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