What is your parenting style? And does opposite of helicopter parent help kinds become more independent and mature?
Let’s start from the beginning… What is helicopter parenting?
A helicopter parent is generally a guardian who’s overly in their kid’s life. They are always there to fight for their children:
They defend them when they are involved in name calling
Fight with the professors so they can give their kids better grades,
And so much more…
With this intense involvement, kids never know how to stand up for themselves in any situation. And as it is, life brings lots of problems and issues children have to go through to become responsible people in the society.
A helicopter parent will never allow their children to handle problems without external interventions.
Characteristics of Helicopter Parents
For Toddlers:
- Preventing every possible minor fall
- Preventing age-appropriate risks
- Not allowing kids to play on their own
- Excessive request of progress reports from the teachers
- Not allowing developmentally-appropriate independence
Elementary School Kids
- Choosing what teachers should teach your kids
- Deciding who can be friends with your kids
- Choosing what activities your parents will take part in
- Handling all school projects or homework for your kids
- Not allowing kids to solve their own problems
For Teens and Beyond
- Not giving your kids the freedom to make age appropriate decision
- Excessively interfering with your kid’s academic work or extracurricular activities
- Trying to talk to college professors about your kid’s poor grades
- Interfering any time disagreements occur with friends, colleagues, or employers
How to Avoid Helicopter Parenting
Is there a way to be the opposite of helicopter parenting?
Straight answer… YES!
Loosening the grip on your child can be hard. But doing this doesn’t mean you no longer love or care for you child. There are a thousand and one ways to make your child know that you deeply live them without over-interfering with their lives.
Here’s how:
- Think of the lasting dangers of helicopter parenting.
For instance:
- Do you want your kids to always depend on you in fixing things?
Or
- Do you want them to become independent and gain important life skills?
- Let your kids fight their battles and handle their responsibilities including:
- Cleaning their space
- Picking out dirty clothes
- Working hard to achieve better grades, not buying their way to good grades
- Tie their shoes
- Rise up when they fall
- Allow your kids to make age appropriate decisions
For instance, allow your kids to:
- Choose their friends
- Choose their hobbies
- Select what classes to attend
- Choose their extracurricular activities
- Choose their life partner
- Don’t fix your children’s disagreements
Whether it’s a disagreement with co-workers, employees, or boss, never try to fix it on their behalf. let your child learn how to solve conflicts without unnecessary interventions
- Let your child fail
As a parent, this is the most difficult thing to happen to your child- seeing them fail. However, failing is a learning experience. For instance, if he didn’t work hard enough and failed to get admission into their ideal college, don’t interfere.
This will teach them to deal with life’s disappointments as they come. It will also teach your child to work hard to get what he really wants to achieve in life.
What’s the Opposite of Helicopter Mom?
Are you a jellyfish mom? Lawnmower parent? Or tiger parent?
Here’s a guide to help you know whether you are opposite of helicopter parent:
Lawnmower parent
Just like helicopter parents, a lawnmower parent mows down all obstacles in their child’s life including:
- Talking to potential employers about the interview
- Asking the professor to offer extensions or alter grades
- Ask for unreasonable accommodation for their kids
- Interfere whenever conflicts arise between the child and other parties
- Blaming others whenever their child makes a mistake
- Helping their child to run away from difficult situations
- Handling projects or assignments for their kids
Generally, a lawnmower parent will try to control everything that goes on in their child’s life.
Elephant Parenting
With elephant parenting, you give your kids space for growing and enjoying life. Your concern is your children’s happiness and instead of being over-protective, you nurture your kids to become better in life.
8 Signs You are the Opposite of Helicopter Parent- an Elephant Mom
- Children other than your own love coming to your home
- Other parents seek advice on parenting from you
- Your interest is not only empowering your kids but the community as a whole
- You work together with other parents to bring up responsible children
- Your bond with your children is stronger
- Rarely raise their voice at their children
- Encourage their children that things will get better however bad they look at the moment
- Care about the emotional security of their kids
Dolphin Parenting
- Works towards nurturing the kid’s character
- Firm while offering directions, yet flexible
- Follows pre-set rules that have consequences
- Allows kids to make independent choices
- Highly values the creativity of the kids
- Acts as role models and a friendly guide to the kids
Free-Range Parenting Style
This is completely opposite of helicopter parent. The parent will allow the children to go to school alone or go to the park alone.
This type of parents trusts that by giving this freedom, the kids will be more independent and responsible. However, this parenting style at times appears dangerous- like the parent is neglecting their parenting responsibilities.
Tiger Parent
Tiger parenting is a strict and authoritative parenting method whose goal is raising top-achieving children. This most comes with denying the kids sleepovers, partying, dating, among other pleasures so they can focus on education.
While tiger parenting, which is a complete opposite of a helicopter parent teaches kids to work, it lowers their self-esteem. In case of a failure, the kid will feel so bad for letting their parents down.
Also, tiger parenting may not always deliver the results you want. Instead of motivating the kids to work hard, they may rebel against what seems that an unjust oppression or punishment.
So, is the opposite of helicopter parent good? YES!
Whether you were brought up by a tiger parent, free-range parent, or helicopter parent, your kids deserve the best. Loving them or showing them care does not mean monitoring their every move.
Give your kids a chance to learn, make mistakes, fight their battles, and choose what path they want to take in life. While they constantly need your guidance, learning to let go helps them mature faster and know how to respond no matter what life throws their way.
Happy parenting!
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